• Children were disciplined if they acted inappropriately or did not obey adults, elders, and older children/siblings who were assigned to watch them
• Scolding, shouting, and shaming were acceptable punishments, depending on the situation (children must never argue with or talk back to their disciplinarians)
• Corporal punishment was used sparingly
• Village council determined punishment for behaviors that were unacceptable within the village; usually the family paid for the misconduct through fines (monetary, fine mats, etc.)

• Same as traditional

• Use of certain tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, and spanking
• Sometimes children were sent to aunts and uncles for discipline

• Same as traditional

• Mother enforced behavior rules
• Father was usually responsible for disciplinary action within the immediate family
• Father (decision maker) decided on form of discipline – scolding or warning, discussion, or corporal punishment

• Scolding or warning
• Less corporal punishment, almost non-existent
• Department of Youth Services is involved

• Corporal punishment
• Scolding, shaming, and admonishing
• Denial of privileges
• Parents had absolute authority over children

• Westernized forms of punishment (restriction and time-out corners)
• New laws took away some parental authority over children (child abuse laws)
• Less corporal punishment

• Taking away playing time, ignoring, scolding, direct criticism, hard labor, spanking

• Same as traditional

• Scolding for misbehavior; paddling if misbehavior continued or was very serious
• Certain behaviors were formally taught for individuals to conform to/acquire favorable ways
• Parents/community elders could punish by assigning community services or imposing fines in Palauan money
• Parents assigned chores as punishment

• Same as traditional
• Counseling
• Court and jail if laws are broken

• Depending on the seriousness of the situation, discipline included scolding (minor offenses), grounding or denial of social privileges (moderate offenses, for example, if boys stayed overnight at a friend’s house without permission), and spanking and beating for serious misconduct
• Sometimes girls had their long hair cut off to shame them for undesirable relationships with boys

• Traditional punishments are still used in some families
• Scolding is a common means of discipline
• Cutting girls’ hair is less common

• Children were scolded and given special tasks for bad behavior
• Children were given more responsibilities to force adult behavior
• Fathers spanked children so hard that sometimes medical treatment was needed

• Parents and older siblings scold children for misbehavior
• Rewards are given as incentives for good behavior
• The same reward may not be acceptable for/effective to all
• Spanking is not always effective

• Punishments were commensurate with degree of offense and included discussion, scolding, community labor, fines (monetary and/or with local valuables, prohibition, etc.), banishment, and physical punishment such as spanking (for children)
• Some criminal offenses were handled by communities

• Degree of punishment varies with age of offender and nature of offense
• Some criminal offenses are handled by the court system

• Males must help their sisters prepare food for their parents, be strong and able to defend themselves, protect sisters and parents, be skillful in cultural activities, be prepared to take care of the whole family (in father’s absence), and respect parents, adults, and sisters
• Females must help their mother and assist in house chores (cleaning, cooking, sewing), dress appropriately (following acceptable standards), inform parents and brother about whereabouts at all times, and respect brothers, parents, and adults

• Same as traditional

• All should live/behave in accordance with values, beliefs, customs of society
• Unacceptable behavior for females: Fefin resap aneni anen konak (walking where males are seated) and smoking

• Same as traditional
• No drinking for women

• Males and females must set good example for siblings, discipline with dignity, and respect one another; oldest child in family became spokesperson and decision maker of family when parents died; unacceptable for younger siblings to correct elders
• Males went out at night, set a good example for their sisters, and obeyed/listened to authority figures with respect
• Females must be home when expected
• Males were not allowed to drink alcohol, discipline harshly, be disrespectful, or engage in immoral behavior with women
• Females were not allowed to be disrespectful, drink alcohol, smoke, go out at night, or raise their voice when talking

• Same as traditional

• Strict rules of courtship: unmarried young women were chaperoned at social activities; courting couples were not allowed to meet unsupervised
• Women were strictly protected and forbidden to smoke, drink, and be out alone in public
• Girls helped their mothers with household tasks; boys protected their sisters and helped with farm and outdoor tasks
• Children regardless of age respected their parents and elders and did not answer back/question their parents’ decisions

• More freedom for young people
• Couples date freely and unsupervised
• What’s good for one gender is acceptable for the other
• Signs of disrespect and disobedience toward parents,(answering back, expressing defiance) is more common

• Unacceptable behaviors for males and females: smoking, drinking, stealing, swearing, disobeying, being disrespectful, and open dating (more applicable to females)
• Acceptable behaviors for males and females: respecting and obeying, attending church and other family and community celebrations, and doing expected family chores
• Females must dress properly

• Same as traditional

• Must act according to gender – boys must act like boys, girls like girls
• Different roles were practiced to enforce proper behavior according to age groups and sexes
• Acceptable behavior: respecting authority and private/public property, and attending and supporting community activities and programs
• Women should dress/act properly and not go out at night to meet men

• Traditional way of life is being lost
• People are accepting more Westernized clothing and lifestyles
• Instances of relationships exist in which age makes no difference

• Brothers and sisters must respect one another in language and behavior (for example, in choice of clothing and use of proper language – no sexual discussions in the presence of siblings)
• More acceptable for males to go out at night
• Open dating or socializing in public with the opposite sex was unacceptable for both males and females
• Children were not supposed to talk back to their parents in public; children did as they were told
• Senior citizens and speakers of the main Pohnpeian language were expected to speak the honorary language, avoid using the common language, and display proper behaviors
• Those aged 16 and older were expected to use the honorary language and display certain behaviors
• Certain dialectal speakers were not expected to speak the honorary language, but it was okay for them to try it and make a mistake

• Same as traditional

• Unacceptable to stand among those seated
• Younger males and females looked up to the eldest without question
• Males respected and took care of family members
• Eldest male made decisions in parents’ absence
• Females never joked with brothers and uncles, walked close to males, wore shorts or pants, or dated before brothers

• Unacceptable to stand among those seated
• Some families allow daughters to joke in front of males
• Females date before their brothers and may wear shorts or pants
• Females do not raise their voices

• Customs and traditions dictated acceptable behaviors
• Activities were assigned by gender (only on rare occasions were genders combined)
• Unacceptable behaviors included displaying affection in public (particularly with the opposite sex), males and females socializing in public, interrupting a meeting or gathering of the opposite sex, and in some cases engaging in activities reserved for the opposite sex (e.g., certain types of fishing and weaving)
• In some communities, there were designated places for males and females that were off-limits to people from the opposite sex (unless the occasion allowed it)
• Strict adherence to these “rules” was expected among adolescents, especially females

• Same as traditional

• Parents, older siblings, relatives, and ministers

• Same as traditional plus teachers and the government (through laws)

• Parents (primary); aunts and uncles, grandparents, community members (to certain degree); and pastors of local churches

• Same as traditional

Carolinian

• Father (head of family) – everyone in the family must follow his orders; no one could interfere, though sometimes a priest could influence the father to change his mind
• Grandparents also disciplined children

Chamorro

• Mother (heart of family) raised, cared for, and disciplined children
• Oldest child assisted and reinforced disciplinary actions to siblings if mother was not available
• When one was disciplining nobody interfered

• Same as traditional

• Mothers were responsible for teaching children about proper behaviors and punishing them for misbehaviors
• Older children were responsible for younger children
• Discipline was the woman’s domain; father stepped in only when mother tried and child refused to listen

• Same as traditional
• Women are still primarily responsible
• Working couples are beginning to share the responsibility

• Parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles

• Same as traditional, and sometimes oldest son or daughter, church leaders, and elders of extended family

• Parents
• Mother had more responsibility in the care of children
• Maternal uncle(s) had an active role in disciplining children

• Same as traditional
• Schools and churches play roles in disciplining children; community organizations also assist
• Everyone knows each other and looks out for each other’s children

• Parents had primary responsibility but would often designate aunts (considered mothers in the culture), uncles (considered fathers in the culture), older siblings, and other relatives of authority to help in enforcing discipline
• Grandparents had secondary responsibility
• Community and church leaders would also discipline children who they found misbehaving

• Because of Western nuclear family concepts, parents are now seen as solely responsible
• Some families experience a clash of cultures when disputes occur between relatives who discipline children

• Mothers and grandmothers were responsible for care of children
• Fathers, grandfathers, and uncles were responsible for disciplining children

• Same as traditional, though parents have more responsibility
• Churches and schools play roles

• Usually mothers and relatives (especially maternal aunts)
• Fathers, community, and elders were sometimes responsible depending on the severity of the offense
• In some cultures, women disciplined females and men disciplined males

• Same as traditional
• Teachers at school

• Parents were strongly encouraged to take appropriate measures (discussions, teaching the child, punishments such as spanking and hard work)
• Common tradition to refrain from evil or misconduct (disgraced names of parents, family, and village)
• Village council exercised severe punishments
• Whole village cooperated and resolved misconduct/bad behavior of children

• Same as traditional

• Leaders and other dignitaries in the community defined what all people should do, including children

• Parents and others set standards for children

• Parents spoke and children were not allowed to talk back
• Parents applied corporal punishment
• Whole village shared the responsibility of disciplining children
• Caring was acceptable

• Parents act out of love and make sure the family is not shamed/harmed
• Many young parents educated in U.S. institutions (colleges) are more open to their children
• Parents listen and talk to children to solve problems and differences
• Some parents and children have very close relationships as friends (trusting and sharing secrets)
• Parents spend more time with children to enforce discipline and reward positive behavior

• Strict discipline (scolding, spanking, pinching, or assigning chores) and harsh punishment
• All elders were expected to discipline children
• Older children disciplined younger children

• Sometimes grandparents, aunts, and uncles are authorized to discipline children; less corporal punishment and more denial of privileges
• Parents are more apt to call government agencies for support
• Harsh punishment is not condoned by law (parents aware of child abuse laws)

• Punishment such as spanking, loss of privileges, and scolding
• Family and traditional leaders set standards for children

• Roles of parents increased
• Counseling

• Rubak (male elders) imposed fines or punishment for misbehavior
• Parents sent a child to his/her uncle as a last resort
• Community elders demanded payment from child’s uncle

• Parents are expected to control children’s behavior
• State ordinance (curfew and school attendance) establish policies to help alleviate misconduct of children
• Law and government punish children; court system and jail used

• Whole village, traditional leaders, and families worked together to find solutions to issues of misconduct, bad behavior, and infractions committed by children
• Extended family helped control children’s behavior
• If misbehavior was a community issue, then everyone in the village looked after the children to make sure that the behavior did not happen again

• More responsibilities are given to nuclear families to control behavior

• Adult used scolding first, then corporal punishment (spanking and hard/heavy work around homes)

• Parents receive better education so are more open to children, listen and talk to children to help solve problems, and use scolding as their primary form of discipline
• Spanking is not effective with many children
• Some parents and children are friends

• Community involvement
• Parents’ dedication
• Educational commitment to physical, academic, emotional, and spiritual growth of children

• Same as traditional, as well as various forms of punishment

• Cultural sensitivity to words; adults believed in cursed words; certain words were very effective in influence (when used appropriately)
• Scolding took place prior to spanking
• Words endured forever but actions/problems could be worked out and faded over time

• Same as traditional

• Means of transmitting behavioral expectations

• Same as traditional

• Chamorro and/or Carolinian were dominant languages
• Each child showed respect and never ignored anyone when communicating
• Children were instructed to be attentive and not show any kind of disrespect (answering back)
• Indigenous languages always played an important role (weddings, parties, etc.)

• Role of language in social control is not evident
• Language is used only for communication by older children/adults

• Chamorro was the common language and the only language used in ordinary communication; also used in prayers and religious instruction; never formally taught as a language in the schools
• During Spanish and Japanese occupations, Chamorro remained the language of Guam

• Following the Organic Act of Guam, the English language became the dominant language of Guam, and Chamorro was banned in schools because it was thought to hamper learning of English
• Chamorro and English are both official languages of Guam, but the dominant language for government use is English
• English is used more frequently by the younger generation

• High language was used by the elderly and at special occasions
• Proper words were used for disciplining and greeting
• Proper tone of language was important for conflict resolution

• Same as traditional

• Expected to use appropriate language at social gatherings
• Omelbeseaol (talking nonsense) in group of elders was not allowed; jokes were only told among peer groups with no mixing of ages or sexes
• Stories/legends with lessons were used to teach children proper behavior
• Proverbs/expressions with deeper meanings were used in conversations to make a point when asserting proper behavior and control

• Same as traditional

• Pohnpeian “high language” played an important social role; demonstrated status and commanded more respect
• Fluent speakers used the high language to convey persuasive ideas
• Prestige – those skilled in using the high language were often selected as speakers/representatives of their community/families and communicated with chiefs (e.g., Ewen Kausapw were speakers who represented divisions of the municipality)
• Dialectal speakers were disadvantaged, especially in social gatherings, because their language did not command the same respect as the high language did

• Same as traditional

• Brothers and uncles listened to females
• Everyone listened to leaders and royals
• Children must be silent
• Strong jokes were not allowed in public or at social gatherings

• Appropriate language must be used during social gatherings
• Friends, young people, and older people tell jokes among themselves at social occasions

• Language or dialect indicated to which caste system/municipality one belonged
• Eloquent person commanded respect and drew people to him or her
• Bilingual/multilingual person had an advantage over monolingual people

• Same as traditional

• Ta te nofo atu nei, a o a’u o ‘Ae: Here I sit; I am ‘Ae (a request for pardon based on the following story: ‘Ae, a native Samoan, went to Tonga and became the talking chief of the Tuitoga, King of Tonga. After a while, he began to feel homesick and begged the king for a leave of absence. Tuitoga granted the request and gave ‘Ae two turtles on which to ride to Samoa. When ‘Ae arrived in Samoa, the people killed and ate one of the turtles. The other turtle escaped back to Tonga and told the king what had happened. Furious at ‘Ae’s negligence, Tuitoga prayed to his gods that ‘Ae be sent back to Tonga. The next morning, between sleeping and waking, ‘Ae thought he heard the crowing of the king’s roosters. However, thinking it was a dream, he slept on. When he finally awoke, he found himself in the king’s house. He was nearly speechless with terror. All he could say was “Ta te nofo atu nei, a o a’u ‘Ae.”)
• A ua sala uta, ia tonu tai: When a mistake has been made inland, it should be rectified at the seaside (when two people are engaged in an undertaking and one makes an error, he/she can still save the situation by setting things right again)
• Ua lele le se, ae lama le tiotala: The grasshopper flies about, but the kingfisher watches him (whenever something good happens, there will always be some conflict involved)
• E pala le maa, ae le pala le tala: Stones decay but words last (it is more important to offer words of advice than physical punishment, because words have a more lasting impact)
• E le pu se tino i upu: Words do not pierce the body (insults should not be internalized or taken too personally)
• Ou te nofo atu nei, a ua o le la le mumu i fafo: I sit here before you like the sun that shines outside (I cannot cover up the wrong I did to you; it is as clear as the sun)
• Tau ina ta ma faapoi: May it end with threats but not come to blows (ask pardon for wrongs committed; only children strike)
• Na o le gata e fasia, ae pupula: Only the snake looks at its slayer (Samoans say that snakes are the only animals that will neither defend themselves nor try to escape when about to be killed; they simply give their enemies “a look” – refers to a man who bears patiently the wrong done to him without seeking revenge)

• Same as traditional

• Ine seno, ine seno, ineni inen, émén: If you keep going to someone else’s house, you will belong to a different mother (a way of saying to girls who are out of control that it’s not good to stay away from home)
• Seme seno, seme seno, semeni semen émén: If you keep going to someone else’s house, you will belong to a different father (a way of saying to boys who are out of control that it’s not good to stay away from home)

• Same as traditional

Chamorro

• Yanggen numa'piniti hao taotao, nangga ma na piniti-mu Mase ha apmaman na tiempo, un apasi sa' dibi-mu: When you hurt someone, wait for your turn to hurt. Even if it takes a while, you will pay because it’s your debt (if you do something to intentionally hurt someone, it will come back to you)
• Un dia – menus pago – un dia: One day – not today – but one day (what goes around comes around)

• Same as traditional

• Legend of Sirena, a young girl who consistently angered her mother by going to the beach to swim instead of completing her tasks. Exasperated, the mother decided to put a curse on Sirena and change her into a fish. At that moment, Sirena’s godmother appeared and told the mother that she could only change Sirena from the waist down (godmother had the right from the waist up) – illustrates the importance of obedience and the power of the mother and the godmother
• Guse’ña magacha’ un dakon ki un kechao: It is easier to catch a liar than a lame
• Munga tumula hulo’ sa’ siempre hinegsen papa’ hao: Don’t spit upward as it may hit you on the way down (watch what you say because it may come back to haunt you)
• Nangga ya i kamyo un tinina: Do not boast or brag, let others acknowledge your deeds
• I taotao ni kumekuentos yangen ti lalayo pues malalago: One who talks is either envious or jealous

• Same as traditional

• Stories conveyed principles, ideas, and beliefs
• Proverbs were aimed at delivering life lessons and demonstrated desired qualities and characteristics

• Proverbs are used more frequently than stories

• Ke ko er a chad er Ngerchemai el metom er a uel el metom er a mlai: You are like the man from Ngerchemai who lost the chase and his boat in trying to catch the turtle (do not try to accomplish two things at one time because you might end up losing both)
• Kedung el chebud: The good grasshopper (old Palauan legend told to children about the good deeds of the good grasshopper who heeded and helped its parents)
• A telkangel a uchul me ng beluu Ngersuul: Persistence is the reason the village of Ngersuul exists (if you believe and persevere in your quest, you will get it accomplished)
• Ng di rengud e ngused: Our heart is our guide/The thoughts and feelings in our hearts will keep us from doing mischief (most often applied to spouses as a way of letting them know to be loyal; can also be used generally to stress proper behavior and acting accordingly when in unfamiliar situations or places)
• Teb me luk (old Palauan legend: Teb was known to be loud and obnoxious while Luk was quiet and obedient; expression is used to refer to the two opposing personalities)

• Same traditional stories and proverbs
• Stories and proverbs from other countries

• Seri suwed pil kin mi nin sapw: Notorious children live on land (implies that notorious behaviors done in the past may pave the way for excuses if children end up engaging in the same notorious behavior)
• Mweleng ieu ohl: A man’s mind is like an addict (“keep quiet and don’t expose yourself,” which means to keep secretive information to yourself)
• Da ngehi ahk weipwul pwaat me kalapw seisei, seisei: I’m not a husking stick made of cork that needs constant sharpening (do not let yourself live with frequent directives, repeating the same mistake over and over again)
• Serihn sahpw suwed pwarada sahpw mwahu: The child from the bad land appeared in the good land (behave yourself when you are in the “good land”)
• Mengihngihn oapwoat ahk: Two different husking sticks do not perform equally (everyone is an individual)
• Kehp tang nan weli: Yams follow their origin (if parents are good/bad, their children will be just as good/bad)

• Same as traditional (new proverbs are rarely developed)

• Edik ak ekemetak: Small but mighty
• Jeblab dejlok applies to stingy people who do not want to share but like to take from others
• Jede ak eo: We always have to be on the lookout (never let your guard down; usually applies to sailing)

• Same as traditional

• All Yapese stories taught behavioral control
• Traditional stories conveyed principles, ideas, and beliefs
• Proverbs depicted desired qualities and characteristics

• Same as traditional, plus various religious influences